Compications of the Heart
by Eriko Sohma
Summary: After Kairi shared her heart with Sora, their hearts have been connected. This causes a well of problems, because Sora is starting to feel the attraction Kairi feels towards Riku. Angst SoraxRiku. My appologies on the quality. I haven't writen in a year.
1. Complications of the Heart

So, it is just a short story and I appologized before hand on the quality of it. I have recently been experiencing a writers block that has last about a year... So I finally broke down and forced myself to write this crap. Hopefull, I will get better and be able to let my creative juices flow again...

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Two hearts joined as one… That is what everyone has told me, but our heart doesn't feel like they are connected anymore. Kairi and I were in love since the moment that she gave her heart to me, but she several other feelings. To be more precise, I know love Riku. I had caught myself staring at him when we hung out and I recall the way the sweat slide down his face as we wrestled. I can still feel the way he pinned me to the ground and said that he won. I really wanted him to go so much further than just "winning".

He is constantly on my mind. Especially when I am alone at night trying to go to sleep, his voice echoes around my head, and I dream up possible situations. He has taken up so much of my time lately; I have begun to wonder if people will start to suspect something, to suspect that I love him. I am also terrified that he will react badly if he ever figures out that I feel this way about him. That he won't be able to stand the sight of me. That he will look at me like I am some kind of monster. That I have always felt this way.

Then there is Kairi, the girl who shared her heart with me. The girl I travelled to countless worlds to save, only to have her turn around and save me from certain damnation. She who loves me, yet I know that she harbors these feeling for Riku. I know, because she knows. Our heart is connected and there isn't anyway to sever that connection. I will always feel what she feels as she will always feel what I feel. She knows my secret desires and my secret dreams and I know hers.

Riku has been on our heart lately. He can always make us smile and laugh when we are feeling heartbroken at his apparent aloofness. He seems to not understand that I… that we love him. He is constantly giving me that sexy smile and giving Kairi hugs so tight that I can smell his scent. We both want to scream at Riku so badly that we love him and that we don't want to let this charade come on any longer, that it doesn't matter what he has done before. We will always love him.

These feelings may not have started as my own, but I know that they have grown to be mine. I have realized that I love him for my own reasons while Kairi loves him for her own reasons. We, both, know that the other loves Riku, but we haven't discussed this. We still love each other, but we know each other's secret desires. Kairi sees the way I stare at Riku as he walks away and I see how she looks at him when he walks away. How can you be so madly in love with someone and you didn't even know that you were until you couldn't do anything about it?

"Hey Sora, what is up?" Riku asked with a grin on his face.

"Nothing much, just having trouble sleeping that is all."

"Are you having bad dreams? About our adventures?" He asked with his face full of concern.

"Yes and no… I have been having wonderful dreams! Spectacular dreams, but when I wake up I get really sad, because they will never happen."

Riku looked at me with a confused expression. He seemed to be taking in every detail of me, trying to figure out what is the matter with me. He opens his mouth slightly, but he shuts after a moment.

"Your dreaming of someone else, someone other than Kairi. Right?"

"yeah…" I reply not completely comfortable with the question I know is coming.

"Who is it? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, but I am afraid that the person will look at me differently, that the person won't want anything to do with me anymore." After I said this I realized that I had practically told Riku that it was him.

"Sora…" he whispered as the realization hit him.

"I am sorry Riku. I didn't want you to know. I was afraid that you would look at me differently, and it appears that I was right." Tears began welling up in my eyes. My heart raced as I thought of the friendship with the perfect boy I had just lost. "Riku, really I don't want our relationship to change."

Riku raised his hand and I saw him reach towards me. I felt his fingers on my cheek and I flinched. "Sora, I was so afraid that you would hate me if I acted on these feelings…"

"Riku… did you just say what I think you said?"

Riku and I stared at eachother for what felt like an eternity. We just stared at eachother, trying to read each other's minds... to read each other's heart. Finally, Riku leaned into me and our lips brushed. He treated me like I was some delicate flower or some peice of fine china, and at that moment when our lips touched, I was.


	2. Plans

I sat up in my bed with a start. It had all been another dream... Riku hadn't kissed me and he didn't feel that way about me. My heart slowly dropped to the floor. I don't know what I am going to do. I am in love with my best friend. He is strong, confident, and drop dead sexy, but that isn't why I love him

I love him completely. I love the twinkle in his eye when we wrestle and he wins. I love how silly he is sometimes. I love his internal darkness. I love every tiny detail of him, the good and the bad, because together they make up who Riku is. I love him for who he is, his good side and his dark side.

I take the boat out to Destiny Island. The sky is getting a little cloud but I don't plan on staying long. I had stopped by Riku's house to see if he was there, but his Mom told me that he had woke up early and was heading to Destiny Island. She also said that he said something about camping out there.

The boat touched down at the beach and I went looking for Riku. I found him sitting on our tree looking at the horizon. He was always doing that lately. I had caught him staring into the distance for several days now. It was almost the same look he had before he left Destiny Island before.

"Hey Stranger! How have you been" I said leaning over the tree.

"Oh, I am doing... good." he tried to cover that little break with one of his smiles, but I have been his friend for years. I know something is bothering him.

"A penny for your thoughts."

He turned and looked at me for the first time since I had gotten there. He flashed me a smile, but it didn't quite make it to his eyes. Something was really bothering him and I intended to find out what.

"Nothing really. I have just been thinking about everywhere we have been. All the worlds we have been to. I was never meant to be stuck on this little island forever."

"Riku..." I was starting to get a little worried, because last time he talked like this he opened the door to the heart of the world.

"Don't worry, Sora. I don't intend to do that. You really need to get better at hiding what your thinking." he flashed me a confident smile... a real smile... one that reached his eyes.

"Well, we can always work on Highwind. We can use that to get off this island. Just you and me, we can run off and start a new adventure!"

"Now who sounds like me?" Riku said, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, there are worse things I could be like. I don't know... Kairi"

Riku burst out laughing. His deep laugh was music to my ears.

"Yeah, I guess there are worse things you could be like. So what about Kairi? Do we intend to leave her?"

"Well, even if we leave her I will always feel her." I motioned at the center of my chest. "I have her heart in me... remember?"

Riku's face seemed to darken for a second.

"That can be what our adventure is for, finding your heart! Just the two of us!"

"Riku... I love... I love that idea... lets get started on Highwind"


End file.
